Simon Cowell

"I have never met anyone here by the name of "Mel," but I do adore the All American Meatloaf."

"Favorite concert: Elton John, 1984. He came out in a Donald Duck suit. Priceless!"

"When I'm craving a hot dog, and it must be on a stick, and Ryan isn't around, I go here."

"Believe it or not, I adore this museum."

"It should be called "Happy Ending Spa", but I digress..."

"Ask for Coco. You won't be disappointed, like I was when I asked for Lulu."