Kyle Quagliana

"It seems as though Will Smith from Men in Black comes and flashes their memories every evening before they leave."

"It's kind of like a United Nations meeting... but nobody speaks English and a lot of the lights are burned out."

"The service here is about as good as PAC 12 officiating."

"Gimme dat new new."

"It's like a regular college library. But its only for the trillest of OGs."

"The guy managed to take my order without saying a word."