Jeffries McMasters

"If you use the grills closest to Valley Dr. Use the one on the left. It gets the hottest. Watch out for crazy hot tub parties."

"Try the cake. Sample the ice cream. Drop a brown wafer in the crapper."

"The douche level here is very high. Watch out for the douche/whore combos."

"Meh. The gurls r aite... If u like 6's and 7's. Dis playa only deals wit dimes."

"Bring in-ear or full ear cup headphones, especially on Fridays. The idiot volume can ruin an already miserable morning."

"A well timed giggle makes the big one giggle."