Brian Bieniowski

"The food is good if you have a high tolerance for the adjectives your server will rely upon to describe a distinctly average meal. They were also pushy about selling bottles of wine. Off-putting."

"Be a yuppie hero: local children love to see a grown adult bite it and belly-flop off the diving board."

"The office manager enjoys most varieties of pie."

"Thursday night is prime rib night—$18 and at least 1000 calories. A+"

"Check out their refrigerator—it's from 1901."

"The Sicilian pizza here is very fine."