Wayne Cheong

"Leave the shoes by the foot of the stairs before going up, you animals."

"Not too heavy. The Guiness Beef Stew sated me. The world is spared. - Reviewed by Galactus."

"Enter the premise. Try not to roll your eyes at the multitude of hipsters roaming the aisle. After that join the masses by purchasing a pair of skinny jeans."

"When you arrive, pretend that you look like you don't care what other people will think of you should you enter the premise. Then be consume with guilt and leave."

"Order something. Wait for something heavy metal-ish to play over the speakers. Headbang while you eat. Extra points if you can guttural-sing along to the music. Hail Satan!"

"Argue against the proprietor's conspiracy theories, lambasting him for his unfounded paranoia. Then, report back to your Government Puppet Masters for a medal."