Jelisa Castrodale

"If you want to have fun during a rain delay, steal a ketchup dispenser and write your name on the concourse floor. Bonus points for legible cursive!"

"At this point, can anyone still look surprised when they have to fork over a crisp fiver in exchange for 16 oz. of coffee? I CAN."

"Don't put heavy foods on your pay-by-the-pound salad bar plate. Sorry, broccoli. Hello, shredded carrots."