Brandon Hartman

"They don't have Onion bagels?!?"

"The record for checkins is 157. Who's gonna take it?"

"Ask the bartender for a spicy bloody mary. You'll only need one!"

"if you can set the dryers to >28 minutes across the street, you can imbibe between cycles."

"get in early. make the coffee. put a funny little post-it on the coffee pot. wash. rinse. repeat."

"Get here early enough, and you can write the "happy day" note for your coworkers."